I've been busy.

Here's where I've been:

relish.tumblr.com

She don't use jelly

November 13, 2010.

Saturday with Amber

November 6, 2010. Amber and I had lunch (that's minestrone in a jar), went browsing for ridiculously priced items and didn't buy anything, and then had several productive conversations at a cafe. A pretty good Saturday afternoon. xx

Haha

Ben Acree via Hard Feelings via FFFFOUND

Happy Days

Remember when I helped Kat with the photos for her jewelry? Well her site is officially up and it looks like a candy-topped mountain of wonderful. Visit Katherine online here. Yay!

I posted a bunch of photos from the Mt. Kinabalu trip on Flickr, but seeing as though the hardest and most mentally challenging part was when we had to get up at 2.30 in the morning to hike 3 more hours of granite-y steepness to get to the summit in time for the sunrise, I didn't happen to get any pictures of it. I was busy concentrating on not dying.

Kidding aside, that final ascent also happened to be one of the most stunning, sublime few hours of my life.

I feel the phantom exhaustion just thinking about it. The air was so thin and it started to get cold and windy and I remember looking back down and wondering how on earth I ended up on a mountain top. It was a wonderful moment. I'm actually kind of glad I didn't take pictures of it and was able to really experience it. To be honest I wasn't really in any shape to be la-la-ing around and taking snaps because I knew I was pushing it in terms of making it to the top in time.

...But at the same time I'm super glad Conor took pictures. And it doesn't hurt that he's mega talented too. And a faster hiker than me. Here are some of my favorites from his night hike ones (all by Conor Colwell):

^ Hikers coming up from the rest house
^ We are somewhere in those clusters of headlamps
^ Just a few minutes away from the summit

I think we are going to have that middle one blown up and framed.

The Problem with Automated Recommendations

Simple amazingness from Recovering Lazyholic.

Watch Your Step

Lyndhurst Terrace, 9.03pm, September 4th, 2010.

Wha' Hapened?

How is it Oct 20? How is there a Super Typhoon headed straight for us at a turtle's pace? How did I find myself in thrilling Guangzhou twice in 48 hours? Have I really been at this new job for almost a month?

WHA' HAPENED?

Weekend Hijinks

Since the mountain, I decided that I could probably get away with not exercising for at least two weeks. I think climbing a mountain fills some kind of fitness quota for at least a month. Right? Anyway if this weekend was a sweater it would be a Bill Cosby sweater because it was busy as hell, but fun as all Cosby sweaters inevitably are.

I thought I'd do a sketch diary of the weekend since I've seen them in lots of places I love like Secret Agent Josephine, and the hilarious Gemma Correll. So I drew Friday night, and then my hand got tired and I thought, hey maybe I should do some real work since it's Monday morning. I think that's ok. No pressure.

Friday was maybe my favorite anyway, despite an "interesting" facial on Saturday which now has me melodramatically OBSESSED about my "haggardly super aging skin" and "micro-damage" and "sun damage" etc (according to the facialist who also happened to be a really aggressive saleswoman) and a slew of birthday celebrations. Sunday was a rainy but festive and campy Red Bull Flug Tag. So anyhow, here's a truncated sketch diary. For Friday. (Night).

Blind Spots

Sometimes it's the small revelations that give me hope and a spring in my step. I have worked in the same office building for about a year now. Monday through Friday, I key in my floor number two to three times a day and hang around waiting for the elevator doors to open.

So that probably means I have walked past these sculptures in my office lobby over 20 times a week, for almost 52 weeks, and for some reason I didn't notice them, I mean, really for real notice them until a few weeks ago.

I had always known they were giant vases that you could see through, that occasionally crumpled or dented after a run-in with an over-enthusiastic child, but somehow leaving work one day, I had the epiphany that they're not just that, but objects that are held up, held together, made up of and defined by their cracks and nothing else.

I don't want to get all turtleneck-and-beret about this but what if we looked at everything that way, in the sense that those aren't really vases with cracks in them...but cracks in the shape of vases? Then aren't we all just piles of flaws in the shapes of human beings? What if we looked at brands that way? Or considered that thought when crafting a proposition?

It does seem a little over simple to say that we defined by what makes us imperfect/what has damaged us in the past, but it also lends to the interpretation that perhaps our cracks are what give us our strength. Or empty vessels, that actually don't/can't contain anything. Either way, I feel like this could be the beginning of a thought...and I'm sure the end of the thought will come somewhere down the line unexpectedly.

Art really gets to me sometimes - often I look at something where I'm sure it is supposed to have some kind of profound meaning yet have zero reaction, opinion or point of view except 'oh...that's....pointy...' or 'well that must have taken a long time...' or 'Huh. $300,000 dollars. Huh. It must be nice to be rich'. And sometimes my feeling towards something is overwhelmingly strong, and I can talk for hours about something (not that anyone's listening to my psycho, uneducated babble) and what it MEANS, you guys. Then, rarely, it will be something like this, that existed in the blind spot of my mind for who knows how long before it scurried out from its hiding place.

I love surprises.

Malaysian Market

Here are some photos from the marketplace in Kota Kinabalu. I like the DIY stitches on the plastic chairs and the old-school sewing machines.

get me one in 'small' would you?

Update: On the way to the airport last Wednesday (about 10 minute ride), I had another fantastic conversation with a taxi driver who has been married for 10 years to a mail order bride from Vietnam, with a 9 year old daughter.

Getting Personal

Photo by Jrhmy from Flickr

One of the unexpected perks of living further away from the center of town has been the taxi rides home. 20 minutes is a lot longer than most people spend in cabs here in Hong Kong, and it opens up the chance to really have a conversation. That can be good or bad, but mostly good. 

Of course, 80% of the time, I ride in silence, lost in my own thoughts, but every once in a while, I'll have an exchange that blows my mind.

I'm not naturally as extroverted as Will is, and he's usually the one with the questions, so he starts it off, and soon the conversation is flying, skipping off to other planets in Cantonese at the speed of light, and he's left to stare out the window, while I make a connection with a stranger who shares with me things that even his own wife doesn't know. 

This particular time, the driver [that's not him in the picture by the way] was telling me about how he's trying his best to learn English, and looks up words when he's not sure how to say them. This results in him having a very good basic command of English, with a sprinkling of very specific words like "dubious" and "ambiguity".

He told me about how he was never really very good in school, how he was held back in the 3rd grade, and made fun of for being bigger than all the other kids. We talked about his talent and love for music at a young age, that was discouraged by his family because they deemed it impractical. I'm not explaining him well, but he was incredibly matter of fact, downright sanguine about everything. No trace of sadness, just a simple acceptance that he must march on (or drive on, rather).

Then I asked him if he was married, if he had kids, where he lived. "I'm married, I have been for a long time. I also have a lover." There was no hesitation, it was just him, sharing something else about his life.

I didn't want to seem judgy, actually I was expecting myself to react with something like, YOU DOG!!! But I wanted to know how and why these things happen. Does it come with guilt? How do they get resolved? Where does the need come from? Do they feel it's wrong?

He told me how they met, that they've been together four years, she lives in Shenzhen, that his wife probably suspects, that he doesn't plan to leave her, that he sees his girlfriend twice a month, that a man has needs after his wife stops wanting certain things.

I was fascinated, I kept asking, and he was happy to answer everything. Funny how a stranger can be more comforting to talk to, given the complete lack of expectation, context and pre-judgement.

This phenomenon of having 'second wives' in China was suddenly real to me, and it was a lot less scandal or drama than it seems. It was nothing like the imagined perverse, cunning, slick philanderer, smug with how much he's getting away with. It honestly just seemed like two lonely people that found each other accidentally, in a relationship that no one knows how to stop. The weird thing was, he didn't feel shame. It was for him, a very functional relationship, two separate parts of his life.

Not that I'm excusing infidelity but I suppose everyone does things for reasons that make sense to them. Everyone has a back story. And like with most things, real life is not the projected character archetypes and melodrama we're trained to assume. In reality, what happens more often than not is life that unfolds at an ordinary pace with ordinary players, and events don't tend to happen in instants of fiery brimstone, but burn slowly, quietly in the corners of our minds.

Envy and Awe

Even though I happily choose not to be so active with Eggplant anymore, I still get really antsy whenever I see beautiful photography. I'm not sure if it's because I have a serious envy issue or something but I see a gorgeous photo and I immediately have a mad desire to want to leave the office and get to some exotic locale and start shooting.

I think to myself what are you doing sitting on your butt when you could be out MAKING PICTURES!!!  Or, on some days, it's something more like, damn that talented a-hole. Which I know, isn't the best attitude, but shouldn't it be ok to think that in our minds sometimes? Don't tell me we don't all do that, because I'm sure everyone does, and for the saints that don't, it doesn't mean the rest of us need to feel that bad about it. We're not ACTING on the thoughts. They're just...there for a brief moment and over.

When we are honest with ourselves though, doesn't damn that talented a-hole pretty much translate into the best compliment ever? Perhaps envy is just impulsive admiration, on a small detour, but headed back to productive, inspired territory eventually. Because often, after a flash of envy, respect takes over (hopefully. This is what I aspire to anyway), and you end up wanting to learn, emulate and want to know their secrets, their processes, their brains. It's a Crush. Full-on. It's like being a little bit in love with someone. Do I sound weird yet? Probably. I don't care. (Do I?)

And then following that, often, we are more inspired, have more ideas, are more focused and ready to carry on. Happens with a lot of things actually, don't you think? Like when you see someone else being a 'good' person. Or being good at public speaking. Or being able to finesse oneself at an awkward social gathering. Or dressing like a goddamned goddess all the time. Or staying calm under pressure. Or just being heart-stoppingly, disorientingly creative. Or just being patient in a situation when I would have cursed and screamed and stamped my feet 2 minutes into it.

Certain people of the world, thanks for keeping me in awe.

Slivers of Light in a Dark World

Behold the playgrounds in which I have found minor distraction and utter delight this week...small, lovely breaks from the complete shitfest of normal life:

Hungover Owls.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.

Under the Weather

It's been raining for days now. DAYS. From Pikaland, an illustration by Isol, who is based in Buenos Aires.

Manatee Matinee

This morning, halfway between my 2nd cup of tea and the world's most mundane powerpoint deck, I suddenly had this impulsive, emotional, urgent need to go to the movies.

It happens to me quite often actually, mostly in the middle of the day, and I'm not really sure why. There's something really delicious about going to the cinema while everyone else is at work - something about throwing everything out of the way that seems oh so "seize the moment" and life relishing.

I love the movies, I love being in a cinema, settling into your seat, watching that magical flicker that comes from some life-giving source in the heavens far above your head that's really satisfying. You enter into the world of the movie, everything and everyone else falls away into darkness. And no cell phones allowed - very rare for the modern world.

By the way

I am determined to up the number of posts in August! My brain needs the exercise. I know things get mental at work, and believe me, it is utterly a new level of MENTAL right now, but I don't think it's an excuse for not writing. I'm saying that more for my benefit than anyone else's, I think. Perhaps it won't look as pretty with pictures and all, but this is me, resolving to myself to post more.

By the way, does anyone else out there listen to music, have little rituals, wear certain things to get pumped up for what I like to call 'big moments at work'? Please share?

I have a big presentation today and in general, it helps me lift my energy to wear a different pair of shoes, if only because I'm so not used to wearing them that it automatically puts me in a different state of mind, almost like becoming a different person.

Now, I'm just going to have to work on toning down the wild gesticulations (yes that is what they call constructive feedback in this office). I do like to listen to music too, but I haven't found right song to get me in the zone yet. If you have a few minutes PLEASE watch this video - DWIGHT SCHRUTE knows how Motley Crue can get him IN THE ZONE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNw5mM_7ES4

Bless

Hearted! I love Jacob wherever he is. From Passive Aggressive Notes.

Travelling

Off somewhere sunny, probably getting more burnt. Until Monday, then!

Courtesy of the stylings of Ashley Meaders